Agent Zero: Gilbert Arenas
March 13th, 2007 | Published in Sports

To say I am a huge sports fan would be an understatement. But for the life of me I was never able to get into the NBA. I thought this was cause I didn’t have a “favorite” team, much less one in my hometown. Then in the 90s I lived for more then a decade in DC and still couldn’t get into the pros. Well this has changed the last year or so since I started to follow Gilbert Arenas (Mr. Agent Zero) of the Washington Wizards.
Not only is the man a joy to watch, but he is a very unique guy. But not in the bad way. He is just unique. Just a few stories from recent years:
- During the 2003-04 season, Arenas tried to vote himself into the All Star game, trading a pair of shoes and a jersey for a box of ballots. He says he took him a month working non-stop to fill out 50,000.
- In October 2006 he converted his Washington, D.C. home to simulate high-altitude conditions, stating that he hoped the arrangement would help him have more energy, especially late in games.
- At the Wizards’ first home game of the 2006-2007 season, during the introductions, Arenas came out wearing a blue robe with a hood, looking like a boxer. He was supposed to resemble a “wizard.”
- He plays video poker on his laptop during halftime.
- During the 2006 NBA season, he began to shout the word hibachi as he took field goal attempts in games, explaining, “You know, a hibachi grill gets real hot. That’s what my shot’s like, so I’ve been calling it that: ‘Welcome to the hibachi’.”
- On road trips, he will often forgoes team outings on the town in favor of sitting in his room, ordering products from infomercials, such as a colon cleanser.
- During the halftime of a game where he was playing bad he took a shower with his uniform on, didn’t change it, and went out and played the second half.
- During the 2007 All Star game in Vegas, Gilbert joined a line of dunking Elvis impersonators and completed a between-the legs dunk off a trampoline.
Agent Zero is a neat guy IMHO, but I’ve been accused of being a little “off-beat” myself. I’d love to have a cup of coffee with him and chat with him what does through he head.
